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you said you'd be coming back this way again, baby [10 Sep 2008|09:42pm]

so, it's sarah's birthday on saturday & i haven't bought her anything yet.

it doesn't really matter tho, since she called me today from the psych ward. where she's been since sunday, apparently. i'm going to have a breakdown if i have to visit that place again.
3 comments| comment

[20 Oct 2006|03:06am]

I never have anything worthwhile to say.
I'll update this when my life isn't fucking retarded.
8 comments| comment

you asked if i loved you...well what can i say [17 Feb 2006|12:05pm]
[ mood | weird ]

my head hurts! hm, story of my life. this morning i realized i've been on drugs almost non-stop for like a month now. &i've managed to fail all my classes, lose a bunch of friends (altho i'm not too worried about those people anyway), waste alot of money and time, &somehow got sucked back into seeing bryan again.

so...i think i need to stop doing drugs, or at least cut back alot, because obviously this isn't working. &i need to work harder, bring my grades up, stop wasting my money, and figure out what to do about bryan. altho i don't know what to do about him at all, sober or not. he's going home this weekend tho so i'll have some time to think about it.

i wish i had the ability to worry. i used to get anxious all the time, &worry about stuff. but now i don't. &it's cool that i'm not worried all the time, but it also means i don't care about most stuff, therefore i'm FAILING! at least when i was worrying, i was doing good. even right now, as i'm sitting here typing this out, i'm not fucking worried at all. i'm FAILING, &possibly going to lose my financial aide, &im just like la de da.

i stayed with shelby last night, because i wanted to escape my fucking stupid life. we fell asleep at like 10, tho. yeah we're cool. anyways tons of people are coming over today, my weekend is going to be busy. theresa, ashleigh, shelby, monica, patty, clint, laura, raena, margaret, bill, jack, &joe! joe is going to sleep on my floor, apparently. also, i'm getting my new car today. i forgot to pay my phone bill yesterday. oops. my sister is playing the ringtones on her phone really loud, &it's driving me FUCKING INSANE! jesus.

we were sitting on the couch watching a movie, &i was on the opposite side of the couch from him. i was trying to just ignore him because sometimes when i'm with him i start to feel really weird, like i'm scared to even try to like him or feel anything. &he reached over and pulled me over into his lap, &kissed my forehead &told me i was beautiful. i hid my face against his chest so he wouldn't see me cry.

[04 Feb 2006|09:29pm]
[ mood | ooooo ]

i, i am suddenly obsessed with indians! my father is one, you know. he is going to take me to a powwwwwww wowwwwwwwwww. but wont let me stya7 after dark because hes afraod they will rape and killlllllll me cos im white. actually im black. no im white.
TALKING TO YUOUR PARENTS WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRUGS. is kinda fun, lolololololol. probably they kbnow sincr i cant form coherent sentences? slurring every word? yupppp

oh but they dont mind, they are my fellow drug buddies. my daddy used to do acid and E and everything there was, and my mommy uhhhhh i dunno, not as wild. but i figure when i fall into the wall they know whatsgoing on! castoff sailors!

HOW MANY CUBIC FEET DOES YOUR FAMILY EAT IN A WEEK! i dont know, i dont know. i wish i were in MONTANA again, everyone is fucking crazy there! driving at like age 12 and shit..fo sho finnian, bounce bounce! ahahaha no one knows what im talking about,..except me! crap

i need to peeomg. way down south in alabama, I WANT AN ELEPHANT! oh and ashark too i could buy lik,e this big pooltank thing to put it in and then it would be in there and i would bring all the bitches that i hate home and i would be like "lets go swimming" and then id throw them in the pool with my shark andhed eat thenm!!!! sweeeeet

12 comments| comment

[19 Jan 2006|10:55pm]
lol old peopleeee


[21 Nov 2004|08:30pm]
[ mood | curious ]

DO NOT LAUGH AT ME, BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO ASK A STUPID QUESTION. and i hardly ever ask you guys to comment, so please. c'mon, help a sister out. does it cost extra money to like, send or upload the pictures to your computer? i know when my friend tayler had his he had to send them to his email and it cost like a dollar per picture. is it still like this? (please tell me it isn't.)

ok, comment now. <3

40 comments| comment

[08 Oct 2004|01:42pm]
NEW SN: rewind it backkk

my computer keeps saying it is infected with spyware. thats bad, right?

i need to stop messing with my computer. if anyone knows how to UNINSTALL aimutation, tell me NOW. lol
13 comments| comment

[02 Oct 2004|07:36pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Never thought I'd say I'm sorry
Never thought I'd be the one to bring you down
Now when I look out my window
But there doesn't seem to be anyone around

And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed

Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day

We said we'd take little time
For both of us to see
And wonder what it'd be like to carry on
Yeah, I know I got crazy
Well I guess that's just me
If I could turn back time before
The wrong

And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day

Never thought I'd say I'm sorry
Never thought I'd be the one
To bring you down

if i suddenly disappear for awhile, don't be shocked.

and it's like i could try my hardest to be quiet, well-behaved, and not annoying. i could get good grades, (which i do) do my chores (i do) and babysit my sister. and i do all these things. but why do i get yelled at? ALL THE TIME!? what have i done!? i haven't done anything! so then i just stop talking, thinking, if i don't talk, I CAN'T GET YELLED AT. COS I HAVEN'T SAID OR DONE ANYTHING.

they still yell.

apparently, i'm the only one who thinks matthew lillard is hot. thats ok, more for me.

17 comments| comment

[21 Sep 2004|08:58pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

That's the only place where I can sleep really, really, good. I SLEEP BETTER THERE THAN I SLEEP IN MY OWN FUCKING BED. :(((((

surveyCollapse )

21 comments| comment

[20 Sep 2004|11:55am]
[ mood | depressed ]

i hate everyone, but mostly just myself.

27 comments| comment

[15 Sep 2004|08:10pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Write one statement to 10 different people on your friends list.
Never tell which one is for whom. But I will give you a hint. I will tell you which line your name is on. For example, 87lbs, 9pm, __artist, _angel_gurl_, and _caitie_ are on line ONE, and so on. (and btw, i'm writing more than one statement about each person.)

1-i've known you for like....a year or so maybe? actually, i'm not quite sure how long. you make me HAOOY. one day i'm going to visit you, and you're going to make me a stick man, and we're going to live in a tent and roast marshmellows. ok. loveyoukthxbai. (line one)

2-I LOVE YOU! i started talking to you about a year ago, and i'm glad i did. you're like an older sister to me. i've only seen you like, hmm...three times or something? but i hope to see you more often. i need to visit you guys sometime. <333 (line one)

3-Um, i heart you. and one day we're going to go fishing on my boat in alaska. or be slutty bears, whichever. your voice makes me happy and sleepy at the same time, even when i can't understand what you're saying. :) (line 15)

4-UM, I LOVE YOU. COS YOU'RE THE BESTEST EVER. i miss you all the time. i can't call you anymore, cos last time i did, it showed up as 50$ on the phone bill FOR A FIFTEEN MINUTE CALL. i'll try to swing by to your crazy homeland when i'm on my way to alaska, homie. (line 22)

5-you're my wife. i remember i first liked you cos you commented on my posts alot. now i just like you cos you're awesome. well, i don't just like you, i heart you like whoa, okbye. (line 21)

6-You think I'm hot for some odd reason :) I like talking to you, and you've talked to me when i was going through some hard times last year. HI HI HI. (line 6)

7-Um, you're mean to me. lol just joking. but you're always calling me a ho :( YOUBETTERKNOWWHOYOUAREK. you're cute, although you are very tiny ;) we talk all the time, although sometimes our conversations go only as far as "hi" and "hey" and that's it. lol. (line 7)

8-I met you through laura, and I'm glad I did. the one time i talked on the phone with you, i hardly said anything! lol sorry about that. i think you're BEAUTIFUL and smart and although we don't talk alot, we both share a love for peter pan, so that's ok. :) (line 19)

9-i don't know you THAT well, but i like you. you don't live very far away from me, and i like reading your entries cos sometimes i know the places you're talking about. also, you always remind me of the girls in the movie "thirteen" and we have alot of the same interests. i'd love to meet you someday :) (line 10)

10-I don't comment on your posts very much, sorry :/ buti do read them, and the pictures you post are really interesting too. i met you through laura. i think you're a really good person :) (line 21)

35 comments| comment

[09 Sep 2004|12:57pm]
[ mood | confused ]

why does the dentist lie to me? she told me yesterday i wouldn't need any shots. hate you hate you hate you dentist.

32 comments| comment

hold on, it's tragic, stumbling through all this static [08 Sep 2004|05:10pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I am very very tired. No matter how early I go to bed, and how much sleep I get, I am still tired. Tomorrow will be the third day in a row that I'm going to the doctors. I really don't wanna go anymore. I wish I would open up to my friends about what's going on. But if it's not even definite yet, why should I get them all worried about it now?

Today's been shitty. I got a bad score on my first assignment in German. It's the FIRST assignment. Hence, easiest. But I messed it up anyway. Shelby mentioned how Sarah already told everyone how I hung up on her last night. I feel bad I guess but I'm too tired to try to fix it right now. But I don't think Sarah is mad, Shelby would have told me. But who knows, maybe she is mad. Even though it's her fault.

Doctors sucked, let's skip that. Dentist sucked too. I HAVE TO GO BACK THERE TOMORROW TOO! >:O Back to back appoitments like this are not cool. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday but the medicine I'm taking makes me feel icky, so I can't really eat. Maybe I will try later.

Time to go to Algebra2 and not understand what the fuck is going on.


my head looks very very large in this picture.

4 comments| comment

[07 Sep 2004|05:43pm]
[ mood | tired ]

i got my senior pictures. well, i got to bring the book home and choose them. i'm going to be sending them to family, friends at school, and people i know really well online. um you can ask if you want me to send you one? lol although i don't know why you'd want one ;) actually, seriously feel free to ask me for one, even if you don't know me that well. my mom is going to order like a HUNDRED wallets, and i'll be needing to get rid of them :)

there's tons more, but i only like these ones lol. :)

24 comments| comment

[07 Sep 2004|10:50am]
[ mood | depressed ]

errrrrrrrrrrr. napoleon dynamite is hot and i want to have his babies. :)

i should really pay attention in class. but i can't! i try, but...i can't concentrate because shelby is always talking to me and just the sight of josh distracts me. mmm:)

sarah talked to me before i left. apparently, she is very sad we didn't go to the movies on friday. she also thought i was mad at her because i didn't say goodbye, i just left her house. yeahwell. lol. i just do that when people are annoying, i hang up or just leave. it's one of my bad habits. gotta work on it.

i....would like to die now. thanks.

I have stuff to do right after school. So I can't go off unannounced with my friends this time. damn.

cos i say love makes the world go roundCollapse )

6 comments| comment

[06 Sep 2004|01:27pm]
[ mood | okay ]

moreCollapse )

8 comments| comment

[05 Sep 2004|05:08pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

i am upset. i don't wanna talk about it. well, there's two reasons, actually, and i'll talk about one of them. we were eating dinner, and my aunt was telling us how she went on a walk today, and she said she went up to amber's memorial up the road. then they all got into a NICE LONG CONVERSATION ABOUT IT, and who amber was, and how old she was, and i got really pissed off and left the table. i mean, she wasn't my best friend, but i knew her, she was my friend, and they could have a little tact. also, thanks dad. for making me mow the lawn with my injured foot. it felt great, thanks. SARCASM MUCH. now give me some pain pills that actually WORK.

going to Napoleon Dynamite later. did i spell that right? i don't care if i didn't, actually. bye.

my family is NOT NORMAL. instead of just coming downstairs to tell me stuff, they USE THE OTHER PHONE LINE and call me. and of course, i don't answer. (me, pick up the phone? hahaha don't make me laugh.) and leave me absurd messages. they're so annoying.

11 comments| comment

[04 Sep 2004|07:49pm]


17 :)

more. they may take awhile to load, so just wait.Collapse )
25 comments| comment

[04 Sep 2004|10:23am]
[ mood | grumpy ]

my sister has a little friend over, and they woke me up this morning by giggling. i was like, "AHHHH STFU!" margaret is here too. and lois and ken are coming later. ahhh can we ever just have a weekend where there are NO PEOPLE HERE. hmm i wish matt had come, but he had a football game. AND FOOTBALL GAMES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME. k still bitter about that one, but oh well.

You make me feel
Lucky as I can be

10 comments| comment

[03 Sep 2004|09:26pm]
[ mood | tired ]

i am so tired. afterschool we decided to NOT go to the football game. i went home with sarah for awhile. colleen, samantha, and adam were all here, and andy for awhile too. then we went back to my house for awhile, but then we came back to sarah's again. and now she's sleeping, and we're going to go see fear and loathing in las vegas at midnight, cos they're showing it at the garland. i'm so damn tired, and i'm not going to be able to go to bed until like three. but i can't just fall asleep and then get up in an hour like sarah does.

also, i've been trying to sign into aim express for like a half hour. it won't fucking work and it's pissing me off so bad. ughhhhhh i need sleep.

AHHH! WHO FALLS ASLEEP THIS EARLY? only sarah. i should never try to do anything with her past 9pm, she seriously passes out at night. lame lame lame. oh well, i would have fallen asleep in the theater anyway. and um, why am i still here? sarah's asleep, i should be going home now. whateverrrrrr :)

57 comments| comment

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